(August 05, 2011, 07:14:17 PM)
Ok so, last night...
'Pillow pal' and I wen't as far as sharing our deeper appreciation of each one thru text.
The whole day, he's been sending me update messages about him after the burial of his Grand Mom. What I didn't realize sooner than he's expecting me to was that he was actually sending hints that he wanted to see me.
On my part, I was expecting to meet him... or sleep over his place place again today. WE talked about it earlier this week. I was trying comfort him the day they buried his Lola because he said he wanted to see me and needed a shoulder to cry on. I asked him if he really wanted me to sleep at his house or would be better for him to have a long warm bath and early sleep because he hasn't been sleeping enough since the funeral.
He said, Ok. He'll just take a long restful sleep and asked if I could join him on friday night, which is today.
I said okay, we'll see each other then.
But going back, yesterday... he was hoping to meet me nga raw, he confessed later on... but was using the excuse of needing my help in finding in SM Cubao a similar pair of Charcoal leather strap-sandals that I have that he also likes.
But I had a different agenda last night. I had a date.
Met this guy in PR, and thought he's quite nice. I wasn't expecting to receive a two-hour long call from him early yesterday, though. And yes, the 'unli' service of globe already warned him later last night that 'he's an abusive user and that he can no longer use the service'.
I got up early yesterday because I was startled by a loud videoke singing. Apparently, there's a birthday party on the first floor and they thought it was okay to start their videoke party at 8am... just a few hours since I went to sleep.
It was a bright sunny day yesterday so, I thought what the heck, i felt like cleaning up the unit and doing my laundry anyway.
Fast forward to the hour after the 2-hour phone flirting with this guy I've scheduled already to bring home for my dinner, 'pillow pal' began texting.
Yun na nga, he was hoping for us to hang out but couldn't get the nerve to say it straight. Eh, my mind was all wrapped up on doing a quick trip to the mall to do errands and meet the PR date there after.
Came the time PR guy's already near the mall to meet me, 'Pillow pal spilled the beans and told me how much he likes more more now too. I texted him kasi that I'm kind of scared to explore this deeper closeness that we have now because I don't want to mess up yet another guy... and myself at this point in my life. I told him that it's not as if I'm already falling.
He joked that if only I'm stocky and do not wear my hair long, I would've been his perfect choice.
He said he wanted us to talk. He wanted to see me.
In my mind, I was... 'oh, boy... para namang ang gwapo ko. Who do i choose?'
I actually thought of making up a crazy excuse to cancel the date with PR guy because if I'd really have the privilege to choose, no doubt, I'd meet up with my super charming 'pillow pal' and discuss what he wanted us to talk about.
But I don't have the nerve to cancel a date that's already in progress. So, I made a white lie to my poor cutie 'Pillow Pal'. Said I'm seeing a friend and that I was looking forward to the sleep over the next night though. He was okay with it.
PR date arrived. Honestly, not exactly matched with my impression but appealing enough.
So, we bought a few bottles of tanduay ice and brought it home. We did it but forgot the condom so we agreed to just jack off to finish.
And there began the agony. He started acting like a possessive girlfriend, cuddling while talking endlessly and yes, even oblivious of the fact that I wasn't really participating in his dominated conversation.
In my mind, I made a mental note that the next time I invite a guy in, we will have to agree first that he has to go home afterwards.
While I couldn't bring myself to send this one home in the witching hour of the morning, I patiently accommodated him. He wanted to grab something to eat... I took him to a gotohan nearby. We bought pandesal home and let him prattle some more but wishing for him to leave early since the sun's already out. We took a nap a few hours after.
At 10am, he decided he's bored and told me he's going home. Probably, because I slept amid his endless annoying cuddling and talking (yes, he kept talking even when I was already passed out).
I walked him to the bus stop and after lingering for a few more moments and still kept blabbering, he decided to take FX ride instead because it began to rain na rin.
After he said he wanted to see me on sunday and left, I wished that I spent my whole night talking in pure indulgence with 'pillow pal' instead until we're both tired and sleepy and cuddled each other to sleep.
Walking back home, I began to think to myself... am I really going to be doing this over and over again. I felt tired to answer myself... too emotionally numb to entertain the thought.
In my mind... all I was looking forward to is my date tonight with my 'Pillow Pal'.