Sunday, September 25, 2011

Share your breakup story... and I'll share mine

Everybody is eager to hear and learn about how people meet and eventually become a couple...

Everyone gravitates to the sweet and euphoric stories of experiences of people in love....

...but whoever was concerned about how things go wrong? Who is curious of how things start to fall apart... and eventually end?

Who talks about how people suffer... and/or cope up?

Who cares about sharing the horrors...

...and virtues...

...of the experiences... life after BREAKUPS...?


(July 27, 2011, 02:24:41 PM)

I got to be honest... I'm in this league right now. And my world is in limbo.

I know... of course... a lot of other GBTs out there are also in pain. And no one to really relate with them on the same level.

We need this... at least. Not because misery loves company... oh well, yes... maybe... but...

Just to hear (read) about others' stories gives a bit of comfort... especially the part where we share the 'real' moving on phase.

No holds barred... no holding back details... no exaggerations... just EXACTLY how we're faring... right now.

Okay. So, in my case... I just feel revolted sometimes when people (esp the ones who hardly know you... or those who never even went through a similar situation ever) easily fire out statements like... 'just move on'... or 'give it a rest' and 'why stress yourself out thinking about it?'.

It's been over four months and I've already gone back home to Iloilo and back here in Manila and just moved in to a small studio apartment (so far from the place i used to live in with the Ex) and here I am... quite different from the usual scenario... very late in experiencing the 'relapse' phase.

A few months ago... i was laughing at some friends who were reminding me about the '6 degrees of separation' theory. I thought that since I'm different from a lot of people... being a dialectical-materialist... I don't really expect much that I'll go through the same phases as most people. In fact, I was aiming to break my own record again this time by easing my way out of this one and in to a new life as a single guy again.

But again... I am, bleeding and losing my mind.

I've dated several guys in four months and all of them had become inconvenienced. They all had different agenda. Mine was just to borrow momentary intimacies... no expectations more than the brief dozes of illusion of love and affection.

I don't even know if I can still allow myself into another Monogamous affair. I think I already lost my belief in it.

Not because i'm 'just' rebelling... but theoretically... I believe that monogamy is truly archaic. I now really seriously tend to believe that monogamy is the root of so many troubles in relationships.

I'll share more about this part another time... but yes...

I mourn for many things that have died.

My four-year relationship with the Ex. My murdered heart and morale. Monogamy. The loves thrown my way that I ignored.

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